Medical Theories

I have a narrow esophagus, an over-supply of melatonin hormone, anesthesia-caused short term memory, and a Hummer-like system.

Always keep in mind while you're reading this crucial scientific Mayday post that everything written below is a theory, or a very, very wise hypothesis. Meaning, it is not yet proven and it is a still a claim. I also came up with very, very wise aliases for them. This is crucial because it states the condition of my health, and without my health, well, hehe, I'm dead.

1) Nearutubus (derived from Old English nearu and Latin tubus) aka The Narrow Esophagus Theory
I have difficulty eating fast. As a friend says, it takes me a hundred years to eat. I have to chew my food very well 'cause I easily choke. And because I need water to push the food down my narrow esophagus, I easily lose appetite. At yan ay ang dahilan kung bakit ako mukhang tingting. Well, okay, you can argue that all esophaguses are narrow. E di narrowER yung sakin!

2) Melatoninisis (read as meh-la'-tone-neen-nai-sis) aka Over-supply of Melatonin During the Day and Night Theory
Palagi kasi akong nakakatulog. Nais kong mag-aral nang masinsinan pero mukhang hindi nakikiuri sa akin ang aking pineal glands. It keeps releasing melatonin hormones and my body interprets it as sleep. As a result, I have like a 24-hour night cycle. Mahirap kaya yon, noh. Kala nyo lang masarap.

3) The Dory Disorder aka The Excess Anesthesia Theory
Five times was I injected with anesthesia this year. Don't ask why. And I think because of this, I now have a very poor memory. I easily forget facts, things to do, names, dates, and even the kind of lunch meal I ate a while ago. When I encounter something, it immediately hides deep within my subconscious. Gosh, it's more serious than you think and it's not at all cute like Dory is.

4) Vroombosis aka The Hummer-like System Theory
According to Absie, I want things slooooooooowww. Yes, that's 9 Os. I eat slowly, walk slowly, bathe slowly, respond slowly. I also always run out of energy, like in the case of a Hummer truck: fuel. I have to be fed after 3-4 hours or else I would break down. I'm strong but I should always be in full tank. Food is the answer. Pag ako nagutom, nahilo, at sumakit ang tyan, ay lagot na. Katulad ng Hummer, mahal ang spare parts ko.